We still have much to learn about the origin of life, but one short video I watched this week certainly confirmed what
so many of us already understand about energy and what/who we are.
The video was narrated by a fertility specialist who shared it on a social media platform. It was of an embryo’s cells dividing and showed a flash of light when it happened. A flash of light. This happens constantly in the body, cells are dividing all the time.
We are luminous beings. We Are Light.
My daughter was born at 9:27 am EST on July 17, 2000.
I died at 9:18 am EST on July 17, 2000.
At 9:26 am EST on July 17, 2000, I was reborn.
Today marks the 22nd anniversary of my death and rebirth, and my daughter’s 22nd birthday.
If it were not for my daughter, I wouldn’t get to be her mother. If it were not for my daughter, I wouldn’t be who I am today.
Having the gift of death and coming back to this life has been both the greatest blessing and the most challenging thing in the world. I have had to navigate a world that seemed foreign to me at first, I was so different than before but the world hadn’t changed. What I took for granted as “normal” no longer made sense and I longed for something new. I initially thought that by changing my outward life it would bring me closer to what I longed for in my heart. What I longed for was to live in a state of being where Love was the predominant energy. I wanted to be in that same state of being I was in during my NDE.
The sticking point for many years was how to “get” there. How do I “be” that Love?
I needed a road map, a blueprint for living and I finally realized I was the only one who could design it. No church, no “guru”, no thing outside of me could do it for me, could show me the way. So, I started meditating. It was the next right thing for me to do. From there, my answers as to the “how” began to arrive. The inspiration to write, to read, to slowly navigate a path back to myself became clearer and clearer.
Writing I Died And Learned How To Live was so cathartic for me. It gave me me back. It gave me a way to break through the barrier of fear I’d inadvertently built up around me to protect me from the judgement and criticism of others. It helped me strengthen in more Love and diminish the influence Ego had over me.
My days are not always carefree, but when I do struggle I have a way to bring myself back to what I know from experience to be the most healing, nurturing, peaceful state of being, which is Love. I return there over and over again.
Happy Rebirthday to me!
Love to you all!
Krista xox
“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”—E.E. Cummings
Many of us hide under a veil where we reveal only some of ourselves to the world as we yield the rest to the expectations of others…it takes courage to remove the veil and step out into the world as who we really are. Those of us who choose to remain veiled choose a life that is, ultimately, under-lived. The veil of ego is what ties us to it.
For me, ego is the same as resistance, or the building of walls. Walls can exist anywhere, at any time. Anything that blocks us from the trueness of who and what we are, is ego. Ego is a reflection of that trueness, it’s equal and opposite and without one, we wouldn’t know the other. Ego, therefore, is not to be rejected or eliminated. It’s absolutely essential for our existence here as it allows us to accomplish what we came here to do, which is to grow into the Love we are in our very essence.
We’re all trying to accomplish that, in different ways and to varying degrees. All of us are on this meandering path to our bliss-state, our state of ideal being, whatever form that may take. For one person it’s through becoming a teacher, another a gambler, yet another it’s…fill-in-the-blank. The point is, it doesn’t matter how you get there. The journey along the way reveals more and more to us about who we are.
To make the choice NOT to do this or that because of the expectations of others is a choice made from the vantage point of ego. We tell ourselves it’s for the best that we do not follow our heart, or our bliss (as Joseph Campbell said). We believe it’s too hard, too risky, etc. The bottom line is, we lack the self-love it requires to step forth into our best life. The emphasis on self-love (i.e. whether we’re following our bliss) and this is a reflection of the present state of our ego. Now, ego can be very small, as in having the belief we don’t deserve what we desire. Ego can be very large, as in believing what we think is the only way to think. There are varying degrees of ego-presence based on the energies activated within us in any given moment. When we’re able to examine our emotional state and assess the amount of fear present in our perceptions and thoughts and felt in our physical body, that is equivalent to the amount of ego present and is a great way to gauge where we are in relationship to the amount of Love vibration activated in that moment.
Joseph Campbell has also said one reaches maturity when they become the initiator of their own life. This takes courage, intention of love over ego and embedded within that is love of the Self, above all. Being self-ish is not selfish, in the popular sense of the word. I highly encourage it!
Happy St. Patrick’s Day all, may you allow for all the love and good fortune of the universe to shine upon you today. xox
So, yah. Today started out rough.
It seems like all the little things that I perceive as challenges have built upon one another and feel like a mountain to climb…and changing my perspective, focusing on the good, begin grateful…is tough.
Life, with all of its requirements and demands are weighing on me and I’m finding it difficult to shift my energy and let go, to allow for what is to be as it is. I “know”, in my brain, what I “need” to do to feel better but I feel unable to do it. It’s like my feet are stuck in mud and I can’t get them out.
It’s a struggle.
How do I let go? How do I relinquish the struggle?
(Pause…breathe in deeply….exhale slowly…)
I do it by releasing the desire to hold on. Like exhaling slowly, releasing breath to the space around me, I release the tension that represents the resistance and allow…allow for what is to be. Allow for everyone and everything to be. Allow for me to just be, even for a moment. To have compassion for and love for me, feeling the way I’m feeling, not wishing to change it, just allowing. And allowing. And allowing….to keep allowing and breathing as the seconds tick by.
I’m already feeling better. More centered. All is well, no matter what.
Love to you.
This is a topic that came up in conversation today around my NDE and coming back…how did I continue living in this 3D world knowing what I knew?
It wasn’t easy. I spent so much time going around and around in my head about what I knew happened and what my ego wanted to tell me didn’t. The ego-aspect of myself was fearful of the fact that if I consciously acknowledged my experience in the afterlife, I’d have to change…drastically. It wasn’t an option, it was a necessity. My “old” life wasn’t what my higher self, my ego-less self, desired and required to exist in. So imagine: a newly graduated Physician Assistant, a brand new mother, a cardiac arrest patient trying to recover, and the wife of a touring musician completely changing their life because of a near death experience…
It didn’t happen. Not for a while, anyway. So, I had to adapt and assimilate and figure out how to live in this world knowing what I knew. I actually remember making the decision to forget about my NDE and focus myself on my life. I had to live rather than simply exist but my soul’s purpose was higher than just existing yet, I couldn’t reconcile the two no matter how hard I tried. And boy, did I try.
Many unhappy years later I found myself miserable and basically alone. I had my beautiful daughter, whom I absolutely lived for. I wasn’t living for myself, or my husband. My NDE was a constant through many ups and downs and changes in my life, always there, nagging at me to pay attention to it. Finally, one day when I’d had enough, I decided to revisit it and wrote my experience down. The whole thing, from start to finish and actually felt it through. I found myself in tears wanting desperately to be able to carry the incredible infinite love of the universe with me, to feel it permeate every bit of my soul, to merge collectively with it once again. I remember being angry at myself for digging it up again, feeling the frustration and pain of not knowing how to use it in my life when something hit me. I became acutely aware of what I needed to do. It was very simple, the message of my NDE. Love. Love is all. All is love. I am love and loved beyond measure.
Love was the answer and it was where my work began. Learning how to live in this world as that love was one of the reasons I came back. The other was to meet the person who would help me on my path back to myself. Overarching it all was being a mother and guide to my daughter. I’m doing all those things and will continue to do all these things until my last breath is taken once again.
It’s truly a journey.
Love to you on yours. Lots and lots of it. xox
We all die, but do we all really live?
One of the things I learned during my transition to the afterlife was that those we were close to on earth are never far away from us even in death. There is this invisible web of energy that we all are and it’s a web that holds all of us in it all the time. All we need to do is think about the one we are missing and they will be there. They may even surprise you and show up when you aren’t thinking about them!
There is an energetic imprint we each have on one another that never goes away. It’s an imprint made from love.
oxxo
Faith is the soul’s knowing that what hasn’t yet been experienced is a possibility.
Krista Gorman, PA-C
Matters Of Life And Death 