Matters Of Life And Death

I’ve been dealing with the issue of vulnerability for a long time, and it is now coming to a head.

Not only have I been able to keep my true “self” under the radar for most of my life, but I’ve been quite successful at being successful in spite of it.  I say this with a bit of my own sarcasm (which I’ve been known to be sometimes, but always coupled with the energy of love!) because my success today is not defined by my successes of the past.  I’ve come to a place in my life where being sort-of-myself isn’t enough.  Leaking out drips and drabs of the essence of Krista just feels too unsatisfying.

What I am craving is to establish the strong spiritual connections with others that I’ve desired to have my whole life.  This is what I feel inside, and wish to translate to my outer world.

The thing that stops me is this vulnerability thing.  See, my ego just can’t handle rejection.  If I put myself out there, and get rejected, my ego tells me I was rejected because I put myself out there.  This just isn’t so.  Rejection is subjective.  Just because whatever it is I think I want or need doesn’t end up mine, or what I wish to give isn’t well received, doesn’t mean there is a fundamental flaw with who I am.

Who am I?  I am unbounded love.  I am an offshoot of the divine.  I am divine.

To be in the presence of another is to be in the presence of the divine.

To share my divinity is to be of service to myself, and the world.  I feel this is true for us all, and look forward to introducing my divine self to your divine self one day 🙂