| During the course of one’s life there are many “light bulb” moments where seemingly in an instant a deeply recognized new awareness and with it a deep internal energetic shift happens. Maybe big, maybe small but nonetheless it brings us to a state of being we hadn’t known before and had perhaps been searching for all along. |
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| I recall being a seven-year-old, when time meant little to me, and experiencing something so profound yet incredibly natural and with such seamless ease. I don’t recall any specific event that triggered that new realization but I do recall where I was and what I was doing when I experienced it. Walking through my backyard, I suddenly felt like a layer had been lifted from my awareness. Things were so much clearer and I felt it. I was no longer the same child I was a second ago. Life for me in that moment had changed forever. I felt myself mourn for the child I’d been in before, not yet feeling ready to be in this new state of being. It didn’t feel as fun, as free, as child-like but, there I was. |
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| There were other similar events as I grew up. When I was thirteen I began to experience what so many young people do where I was no longer a child and unprepared for the responsibilities of adulthood, yet wanted to be treated like one. I wanted my life to speed up. Within that point of reference, I moved from a mode of thinking that adults knew everything to holding the belief that they really didn’t. My disposition grew from that perspective and brought me into young adulthood with a healthy distrust of those in authority, and a persistent desire to be one. |
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| At twenty-one I was a college graduate and entering the world as an adult myself for the first time. At that point, I’d come to a place where I was searching for something. I didn’t yet know what it was but it was always there, just out of reach, all the time. Searching, I lost myself in friends and partying, but all the while there remained this nagging feeling that there was “something more”. I felt impatient and couldn’t wait to discover what it was. |
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| Twenty-eight found me pregnant with my daughter and in my second year of PA (Physician Assistant) school. I was the scientist and humanitarian wrapped up in one. I wanted to help people be healthy and made it my responsibility to know everything I could in order to do it to the best of my abilities. I was a sponge for information and took my role as a health care provider very seriously. Then, life was a race to the finish, only to be met by the beginning of another race. |
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| At twenty-nine I died and came back and was completely changed inside. Outwardly I was the same old “Krista” but inwardly I was a different energetic being with a different point of reference for who and what I was and what I was meant to do in this life. |
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| Talk about a shift. That was three weeks after I’d graduated and was now a Physician Assistant. Life slowed down significanly, and I met each day with new eyes. As I recovered from the 8 minutes without oxygen to my brain, I had experiences very very similar to the one I had at seven years old where it suddenly felt like a layer had been removed from my awareness and everything was clearer, only this time, the reality was one I’d known before my near death experience and I didn’t really want to be in it. |
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| Thirty-five found me miserable, almost broke and struggling in my career. I’d struggled so much over the years with being the “new Krista” in the old Krista’s life. While my passion for caring for others remained, my passion for my career had not. That had died when I did. After coming back, I had to relearn <em>everything</em>. All the intense study, the blood, sweat and tears I’d put into my training was gone. Not only that, but I the struggle continued as I searched for a way to live happily in my life. |
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| Forty-two was a time of huge transformation and change in my life. So many things had changed but most significantly <em>I </em>had changed. I had countless shifts in my awareness of who I was within the context of my life and how I could heal the hurts, to become more of who I wanted to be here, to be the person I experienced myself as in the afterlife. The love I was, I was now beginning to express outwardly because I was healing inwardly. Life was starting to have color again. |
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| Now, several years later that transformation has continued with such amazing <em>amazing</em> divine events, synchronicities that cannot be explained away as chance. I am in a phase of growth that amazes me every single day and have countless gifts as a result. One thing I wasn’t sure I’d ever get to have in this life was a partner who shared the same desire to love as I did. What I didn’t know, was that once I started loving myself as I knew I deserved to do and telling the universe what I desired, that life would open up and I’d start getting exactly what I’d asked for. |
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| Today, I have a partner on my journey that is my divine complement. We have been gifted with one another to walk this path and be the light we both know we are, together, shining brightly as we bring our love and the love of the universe out to share with the world. It’s love that is there for all of us, if we are open to it. |
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| The Seven Year Spiral is widening
and time is no longer a consideration as I walk it. As we walk it together. Time is a construct we’ve created and now experience. We can move out of that experience of time and be in this moment, creating and enjoying, anytime we are aware and choose to do it. |
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| Sending so much Love out to all of you xoxo |
Krista Gorman, PA-C
Matters Of Life And Death 
One thought on “The Seven Year Spiral”
Ann E. Laurie
Love this. And love back to you.